If We Were Married....

Got this jokes off the email just now. Had a good smile out of it so I am sharing it with you all out here.

Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."
Husband : "I was looking for the expiry date."



Wife : "Do you want dinner?"
Husband : "Sure! What are my choices?"
Wife : "Yes or no."



Wife: "You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?"
Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears."
Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"
Hubby: "Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?"



Stress Reliever Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden."
Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."
Girl: "Well that's because we aren't married yet."



Son: " Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."
Mom: "Well, you have done the right thing."
Son: "But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap."



A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"

"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!"



Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever
The guy replies: "Thanks for the early warning."



A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor!"